because sometimes guys want girls
by Levi Ackerman
Summary: "Yo, Sasuke - ever wonder what it's like having sex with a girl?" Naruto asked casually. "WHAT!" Sasuke hissed, "You can't be serious!" SasuNaru, NaruSasu, though really more of Naruto x SexynoJutsu!Sasuke. SMUT. CRACK. Dirty talk. Misuse of jutsu.


_Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto._

_Author's Note – This is really depraved, kind of cracky, smutty smut. I'm quite mortified I actually wrote it but this one awesome fic inspired me and yeah. So, here it is._

_Dirtier (and weirder) than anything I've ever written. Proceed with caution (and an open mind)_

**_Warning: Rated M for smut, lots of it. And dirty-talking. And misuse of sexy jutsu._**

_Mainly NaruSasu. With some SasuNaru too. Though let me warn you that the NaruSasu is more of **Naruto x SexynoJutsu!Sasuke.**_

_Also mentions **(explicit mentions, very explicit) of SasuSaku, NaruSaku and NaruHina.**_

_Oh, and did I mention – LOTS OF SMUT._

_Proceed at your own discretion. I did warn you._

_And – please be forgiving of the genders of the pronouns. I didn't know whether to refer to SexynoJutsu! as her or him or he or she so yeah… as long as you get the gist of it, hope it doesn't bother you too much…  
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_AND PLEASE NOTE: **Sasuke and Naruto are BI in this.** They love each other, etc, etc, but they're still bisexual. Yes, that's possible. If straight people can have one true despite the fact that they may have done things with others in the past, bi people can do it to. So please, be open-minded. I've already got flamed for this and I know I'm going to get more. But seriously, read the description. **If the het pairings bother you (because they are mentioned, explicitly, like I said) then DON'T read. It's SexyJutsu!Sasuke. If that bothers you, you're in the wrong place. Instead of flaming me and telling me to get a life, please read something else (i.e, my one-shot collection of SasuNaru for instance which is purely yaoi and nothing twisted like this). Thank you and I'm sorry fic offends you or bothers or disgusts you, but really, I've posted multiple warnings.**  
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/\/\/\

"Ever wondered what it'd be like, having sex with a girl?"

"…_what?"_

Sasuke bolted up, knocking Naruto's head off from where it had been nestled happily on his chest.

"Oy, bastard," Naruto grumbled, "I was comfy there."

Sasuke shot him a withering glare.

"I'm not your personal pillow, dobe."

Naruto pouted, but Sasuke was impervious (or pretended to be) to that and the shining blue puppy-eyed look, and continued to glare frostily.

"Anyways," Naruto continued, leaning back into the headrest, his bare arm brushing Sasuke's, "As I was saying, have you ever wondered what it'd be like-"

"I _heard _what you said the first time, deadlast," Sasuke told him flatly, though he allowed Naruto to cuddle up to him without punching the blonde in the face – a good sign.

"So, have you?" Naruto persisted.

"No!" Sasuke scowled at him, "I'm – I'm not – I thought you were gay!"

His tone was venomous, but after years of reading the subtle shifts in Sasuke's tone, voice and expression, Naruto could pick up on the barely-there pout that shaped those pretty lips, and the hint of panic concealed within his acrid tone.

Unfortunately, the blonde was also quite tactless when it came to dealing with Sasuke's rather – delicate – emotional state. Delicate because a slight upset could very well turn a perfectly good sex session into an all-out brawl complete with Chidoris and Rasengans.

Or maybe Naruto just enjoyed provoking Sasuke. Which he proceeded to do with a perfectly-executed expertise.

"Now, now teme," Naruto said, patting Sasuke's head patronizingly, "No need to get so jealous, you know you're my closest _bond _and the most important-"

"USARATONKACHI!" Sasuke shouted, and Naruto found himself dodging a Chidori-infused fist.

"Chill out, Sasuke," Naruto said, grinning as he rolled of the bed to avoid another swipe, and hastily grabbed the blanket to tie around his otherwise bare form.

"I'm _not _jealous," Sasuke practically spat at him.

"Sure you're not," Naruto smiled, before winking at his furious lover, "Don't worry, you know I like fucking you best-"

"NARUTO! DIE!"

"Ow – hey –"

"Chidori!"

"Rasengan!"

/\/\/\

"Well – that – that was – oh fuck…" Naruto sank back down into the sheets, still flushed, his blue eyes wide and glassy.

Sasuke observed him with dark eyes, a self-satisfied smirk etched on his handsome face.

"Had fun, usuratonkachi?" he teased.

"You – you're so – I love you, Sasuke," Naruto gushed, looking up at him adoringly.

"You idiot," Sasuke said affectionately, poking the blonde's forehead before leaning forwards to kiss him.

'Still wondering about girls, deadlast?" he murmured against the blonde's lips as they pulled away.

"No – no – of course not – not like that," Naruto said hastily, flipping over onto his stomach, "It's just…"

"It's just _what_?" Sasuke asked, eyes narrowing.

Naruto's clear blue eyes met his, and the blonde bit his lip for a moment, before speaking.

"I just wondered what it would be like… you know? Like – softer – and – well, wetter-"

"That's obscene," Sasuke informed him, primly.

"And you know – to be in control – to be the one who's really in charge, whose doing the actual – um –"

"Fucking?" Sasuke supplied, raising an eyebrow delicately.

"Yeah!" Naruto nodded enthusiastically, "See you get it, right teme?"

Sasuke smirked.

"What?" Naruto asked, not liking the (all too sexy) smirk on his partner's face.

"Basically you want to have sex with someone weaker than you," Sasuke grinned, "So that you can be the one doing the fucking, and not getting fucked-"

"No!" Naruto flushed, "That's not what – I don't – I like it when you fuck me!"

"Course you do," Sasuke smirked, "But I'm not an idiot, dead last. If you wanted to top more often, you should just get stronger than me…"

"That's not it at all! And I _am _stronger than you, asshole!"

"Then why is it that _I'm _topping eight out of ten times?"

"Because – because I – ugh, that's _not _it! I bet I can top you _right now!"_

"Is that a challenge, dobe? Because so far this evening, we've done it twice, and _both _times it's been me on top. I'm not sure you can handle a third time…"

"Bring it on, teme!"

/\/\/\

"I'm not going to be able to walk straight, forget leap around on treetops, you bastard."

"Stop whining. I know you liked it."

"Sasuke-teme…."

"Moron."

"Can we do it again? Me topping this time?"

"No."

"Why! I haven't topped in over a week!"

"That's because you suck."

"I don't suck!"

"…"

"You sick bastard. I _know _what that look meant."

"…"

"You're telling me that I _do _suck, and that I suck your cock!"

"…"

"Well guess what, asshole! You sucked mine too, so – so –"

"It's really pathetic that you manage to have arguments with me even when I'm not actually speaking to you."

"Ah – whatever! You're stupid little smirks and expressions speak more than words, I can read your thoughts, dattebayo!"

"Yeah right…"

"I can! And right now – you're asking for a Rasengan, fully-loaded-"

"Dobe, will you _please _stop referring to that – with _that!"_

"Why? They're awesome codenames!"

"They're sick! Because of you, every bloody time I battle an enemy ninja and yell 'Chidori' all I can think of-"

"Is my cock, and how it tastes when you suck me off?" Naruto grinned lecherously.

"You're disgusting," Sasuke muttered, but there was a pink tint on his pale cheeks.

"Anyways, back to our original discussion," Naruto ignored this, "Girls. Having sex with girls."

"_Why _dobe? Why must we discuss this?"

"I'm just wondering if you've ever wanted to – you know –"

"_What?"_

"Feel what it's like to touch a – you know…"

"I'm _gay, _Naruto," Sasuke rolled his eyes, "And for you, though I have no idea why-"

"So you've _never _wondered?"

"No."

"But I thought you and Sakura-chan-"

"_Once. _And I never wondered – we just did – stuff – one time. It was a mistake. And we didn't even have _sex._"

"Yeah me neither, I've never actually had sex with a girl, but I've always wondered what it'd be like, haven't you?"

"No."

"Geez… because if you did – I could – you know – my sexy jutsu…"

"You're sick," Sasuke observed, yet again, "Seriously. Have you fantasized about me fucking you when you're in that form?"

"Of course not!" Naruto lied, flushing, "I'm just saying – if ever you want to – um – try it out – instead of seeking Sakura-chan – you can just – ask me…"

"I'll keep that in mind," Sasuke said dryly.

"And on that note," Naruto continued, "Um – seeing that – I'd do that for you – and – um – I honestly don't think I'd be attracted to any other girl now – seeing that I love you so much – um…"

"Spit it out, dobe," Sasuke growled.

"And you have the Sharingan – so – um – copying jutsu is like practically effortless for you…"

"This better not be what I think it is," Sasuke hissed.

"Could you – be a girl for me? Just once? Please?"

Needless to say, after the fight that broke out thereafter, there was no third round of sexing that night.

/\/\/\

"Aw, come on Sasuke," Naruto whined, a week later, persistent as ever, "I wouldn't even tell anyone about it. It would be our dirty little secret."

"No."

"But after everything I did for you… I forgave you… I bought you back and-"

"No."

"You nearly killed me twice-"

"Nearly. I never _actually _killed you-"

"Because you _looooove _me-"

"…maybe. Your point?"

"And if you love me you should try to make me happy, right?"

"No. I enjoy your misery."

"You sadist!"

"Hn."

"How could you?"

"You're a masochist, Naruto, don't blame me."

"But-"

"No. I'm _not _going to do it. And if you ask me one more time I will use Tsukiyomi on you!"

"Meh, please! What's the point of threatening me with that if you can't even control your own damn urges-"

"Dobe-"

"The last time you tried that I had to live through 72 hours of-"

"_Dobe, shut up!"_

"-mad, wild sex, which wasn't so bad, though I was kinda sore afterwards, you horny bastard-"

"DOBE – fine. Whatever."

"What – wait – Sasuke, where are you going? Sasuke – come back! Nooo, don't leave me again, don't abandon the village, what about our _bonds, _what about our _se-"_

_"_Shut the fuck up, usuratonkachi, do you want the whole village to know?"

"But – but you're leaving!"

"To go home."

"Not Sound?"

"No."

"Not Akatsuki?"

_"No."_

"Heh. Just checking."

"…"

"Anyways-"

"You're not coming."

"What! Why?"

"And no sex tonight."

"WHAAAT? WHYYYY?"

/\/\/\

"Ah, come on Sasuke, it'll be fun," Naruto wheedled, "You _never _go along with any of my fantasies!"

"It's not my fault you're a pervert who fantasizes _way _too much about absolutely disgusting things-"

"But-"

"And I _do. _I went with the ramen-flavored lube despite the fact that it smelt like _miso _and was the most disgusting thing ever-"

"Hey! I'll have you know that you're dick tastes ten times better when covered in-"

"And I did the henge to make myself look like I had the curse-seal and went with you to the Valley of the End so we could 'relive' our fight-"

"Come on Sasuke, admit it, that entire debacle was full of sexual tension… why do you think we kept slamming each other into hard surfaces?"

"You're _sick. _I don't know what your twisted mind wanted but I wanted power-"

"I think fucking me in my one-tail henge gave _you _quite a power kick, asshole-"

"_And _I let you do the thing with the shadow clones-"

"Please, that was entirely for your benefit, you _liked _being gang-raped-"

"Basically, dobe, I put up with enough of your shit, because I – you know –"

"Geez, Sasuke, would it kill you to say you love me?"

"Go _die_, usuratonkachi."

"Love you too, teme," Naruto replied cheerily, dropping a sloppy kiss on Sasuke's cheek which the dark-haired boy immediately wiped away.

"Anyways, I'm _not _doing your depraved jutsu, Naruto," Sasuke concluded, Sharingan spinning, "So stop wasting my time. Let's go spar."'

"Ah fine," Naruto grumbled, before brightening up, "Can we do ramen after?"

"Hn."

"Alright! Hey if I beat you in the spar, tonight, can-"

"No."

"I wasn't going to ask you to do the justu! I was going to ask if you'd-"

"We'll see. Try winning first, like that's going to happen."

"Temeeee! You're going to be sucking me off all night long, believe it! And I'm topping!"

/\/\/\

A week later, and to no surprise, Naruto still hadn't managed to convince Sasuke to go alone with his latest fantasy – or rather, proposal. So he'd decided to seek some help.

"Hi, Ino!" Naruto cried, spotting the girl he'd been frantically searching for.

"Naruto," the blonde bombshell greeted, "Hey."

Sasuke was at the hospital, getting his Sharingan checked by Sakura. He'd be meeting Naruto at Ichiraku's in ten minutes. Just enough time for Naruto to get his master plan in action.

"What's up with you?" Naruto asked, plopping himself onto the stool, "Yo, Ayame, how're you doing? One pork ramen, one beef, one miso please."

"Coming right up," the brunette smiled, taking Naruto's order.

"I'm just waiting for Shika and Chouji," Ino said, "We're eating here today because Shika's sick of barbeque and so am I… though they're kinda late… I bet that lazy ass is still cloud-gazing somewhere…"

"Ah," Naruto said, hoping Shikamaru would take his time.

Somehow he felt the lazy nin would see right through his scheme.

"Anyways, Ino," Naruto said, "Ever wondered what your and Sasuke's kids would look like?"

"Wh-what?" the blonde shrieked, blushing brightly, "What are you – Naruto!"

"Ah, come on," Naruto leaned forwards, lowering his voice, "Everyone knows he's going to have to pick a girl to settle with sooner or later… to rebuild his clan and stuff…"

"Y-yeah, I know," Ino said, "B-but Forehead-"

"Sakura-chan, as much as I love her, isn't really bastard's type," Naruto said, hoping Sakura would _never, ever _catch wind of this conversation.

"Wh-what?" Ino was shocked.

"Yeah, after she tried to kill him he just kind of – well – stopped looking at her like that," Naruto lied.

This was probably the opposite of what was true. Sasuke had never truly looked at Sakura (or anyone but Naruto) 'like that'; though if anything, Sakura's attempts to kill him had increased Sasuke's respect and liking for her. And had possibly led to that one night of not-sex between the two. Sasuke refused to reveal to Naruto the actual reason why he'd ended up making out with and then almost-fucking their pink-haired teammate.

"But – but what about that redhead – Karin?" Ino asked, "I thought she-"

"Please, Sasuke can't stand that bimbo," Naruto rolled his eyes, truthful this time, "He only kept her around because of her chakra-sensing abilities."

"Oh…"

"And Hina-chan's not really into him, he doesn't really know Temari or Tenten, and the latter's with that Hyuuga anyways, so really, you're the only girl left."

'"Mhmm…" Ino said dreamily, "Of course… you're right… with my beauty… of course Sasuke-kun would pick me…"

"Of course he would. And trust me – I'm his best friend, I'd know. He has a thing for blondes. _And _blue eyes."

"Really?" Ino squealed, delighted.

"Yep," Naruto smirked.

_Blonde, blue-eyed boys, but she doesn't need to know that._

"I heard it straight from him," Naruto said, "Kind of."

Well Sasuke hadn't really _said _it explicitly – but considering the amount of sex they had, Naruto surmised that he found him pretty attractive – which meant he did have a thing for blonde hair and blue eyes.

In reality, Sasuke only had a thing for Naruto, though the blue eyes in particular, were a weakness, though he'd never admit it.

"Anyways," Naruto snapped, jolting Ino out of her reverie, "Since you and Sasuke are going to probably have kids one day… aren't you curious to know what they'd look like?"

"I'm sure any child with my beauty and Sasuke-kun's handsomeness would be just perfection!" Ino gushed.

"I'm sure, I'm sure… but you know… if you had a grown-up daughter say… aren't you a bit curious as to what she'd look like?"

"Well now that you mention it… kind of… why?"

"Well," Naruto grinned mischievously, his devious plan falling into place, "There's a way you can find out!"

/\/\/\

"Are you sure?" Ino asked dubiously, "Won't Sasuke-kun be upset once he finds out?"

"Ah, I'll deal with him," Naruto waved her off.

As he would.

"But – I don't even know if it'll work…" Ino said worriedly.

"Of course it is! You're great at that jutsu!" Naruto told her, "I'll distract him so he doesn't look at you-"

_Not that he ever would anyways, _Naruto added mentally.

"-and then just use it, and you'll be in, bam! And then I'll do the jutsu so you can copy it with his Sharingan and then use it!"

"But I don't know how to activate it."

"Oh, don't worry, I'll piss him off so the Sharingan is on before you do the mind-transfer."

"Are you sure, Naruto? I don't think it's a very good idea…"

"Don't you want to see your future daughter Ino? Don't you _care _about what she's going to look like?"

"You're right – of course! But – but what if Sasuke-kun is stuck like a girl forever?"

"Don't worry. I know how to end the jutsu. I'll show him and he can copy it once he's back, and it'll all be fine," Naruto assured her, biting back his grin, when a familiar flash of blue and black caught his eye, "Look, there he is! He's coming right now!"

It was Sasuke, who immediately took the stool next to Naruto's.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Sasuke! Hi! I didn't expect you here!" Naruto cried.

Sasuke shot him a look, one of the 'what-the-fuck-is-up-with-you-you're-being-more-of-a-dobe-than-usual' variety, and then turned to Ayame.

"One miso ramen please."

"Of course," Ayame nodded, blushing, and Naruto rolled his eyes.

Sasuke still had that effect on girls. It was true that he was far too attractive for his own good, but really – it's not like _Naruto _got all breathless and flushed and starry-eyed around him – anymore – most of the time…

"So what's up teme," Naruto asked conversationally, before adding, "By the way, Ino's here stalking you. You may want to avoid looking in her direction."

"Yeah," Sasuke nodded, rolling his eyes, "_Annoying."_

"Not in the good Sakura-chan way though, right?"

"No, dobe, not in that way. She told me to tell you we're doing dinner tonight, by the way."

"Oh, awesome!" Naruto said enthusiastically, before pausing, and adding casually, "Is Sai coming too?"

If anything, _that _would piss off Sasuke into activating his kekkai genkai.

"Who cares if that freak is coming?" Sasuke snapped, "He's just a stupid replacement."

"Aw, come on, Sai's a nice guy," Naruto grinned, "You two could really get along if you tried. You're both kind of quiet and asocial and-"

"He's obsessed with your dick Naruto!" Sasuke growled under his breath.

"So are you! Another similarity!" Naruto said, before laughing at Sasuke's murderous expression.

"_Dobe_."

The Sharingan had activated. Naruto smirked. Sasuke was really quite predictable at times.

"Chill, chill, I was just kidding… despite the looks of it, Sai's not actually gay, believe it!"

He shot Sasuke a thumbs up and a blinding smile. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ino nod, making a familiar hand seal.

The thumbs up and smile had basically been the sign.

"Shintenshin no jutsu!" a female voice called.

Seconds later, Ino's body slumped forward, her head hitting the countertop.

Sasuke, who had been sitting directly in front of her, went rigid for a moment, his shoulders slumping as well, before he straightened himself.

"Ino?" Naruto asked, holding a breath.

"Oh my god!" Sasuke squealed, in a voice too high-pitched to be his, "I'm – gorgeous!"

His hands lifted up his shirt, fingers running over the taut abs, and Naruto swatted them away, not at all liking the idea of Ino molesting Sasuke in his own body – even if the image of Sasuke feeling himself up was kind of hot – would Sasuke agree to – no, probably not, he'd just punch Naruto for suggesting it.

"Ino! Focus," Naruto snapped, making a hand seal, "Now, I want you to copy this."

"Okay!" Sasuke said giddily, smiling.

Naruto couldn't help but blush. That smile looked absolutely charming on his lover's handsome face.

Still, he had to focus – couldn't get distracted by Sas – or rather – Ino.

"Copy this! Orioke no jutsu!"

Naruto re-appeared as a buxom blonde with pigtails, though he made sure she was wearing clothes this time. He didn't need Sasuke to be naked – not yet.

Sasuke did, Sharingan whirring as he copied the hand seals. They were the last words Naruto had expected to ever come out from his mouth.

"Orioke no jutsu!"

There was a puff of smoke and a familiar sound as the jutsu was copied and executed perfectly, thanks to the Sharingan.

"Alright, Ino!" Naruto cheered, "Now release it!"

Seconds later, Ino's slumped form righted itself, the light blue eyes staring ahead eagerly.

The smoke cleared.

Naruto gaped.

/\/\/\

Naruto had seen his fair share of beautiful woman – from charmingly pretty to stunningly gorgeous to downright orgasmic. Travelling with Jiraiya had ensured that.

His own sexy form – which he had immediately dispelled – was quite a beauty itself. So were some of the kunoichi he met on a daily basis – Sakura-chan, Hinata-chan, Tsunade-sama herself… his own mother when he'd seen her…

But Sasuke.

Sasuke's Orioke no jutsu form put _everyone _to shame.

Naruto felt himself harden instantaneously.

He – or rather she – was a perfect combination of charmingly pretty, stunningly gorgeous and downright orgasmic.

Slim and tall (yet an inch shorter than Naruto – which was awesome, since Sasuke was actually an inch taller in his normal form), beautifully proportioned, with flared hips, a perfect waist, and beautiful, _round_ breasts which all-but spilled out of the tight navy-blue Uchiha top.

Long, slim pale legs wrapped in tall black boots, a hint of toned thighs visible underneath the slitted white skirt.

Sasuke's sexy form was pretty much clad in Sakura's attire, except in Sasuke's own color scheme, something which Naruto found pretty interesting, because hell, Sakura-chan's boots were hot on her, and hotter on this young lady.

And the face… Naruto had always found Sasuke's face handsome and perfect, with his high cheekbones and chiseled features and dark eyes.

But this – this was beautiful. The same perfectly shaped features and straight nose, except they were rounder and softer and more delicate. The chin was more angled, the jawline thinner, the eyes slightly wider, and fringed with dark lashes curling upwards.

The hair was much longer, and smoother, and silkier, cascading down that pretty back, with a few bangs almost covering the beautiful eyes.

The lips were plumper, and a slightly darker shade of pink, and his – or her – elegant eyebrows angled downwards in confusion.

Confusion because – oh crap – _how _was Naruto going to talk his way out of this one?

Sasuke – or rather, this beautiful female form of Sasuke – was going to _kill _him.

Even in a female state, Naruto was pretty sure she harbored Sasuke's homicidal tendencies.

For one thing the eyes – the dark, Sharingan eyes – were definitely the same Sasuke.

And the confusion was turning into fury, and Naruto knew that he was screwed.

He licked his lips in anticipation.

/\/\/\

"Naruto."

The voice was menacing, but far too high-pitched and feminine to be effective.

Naruto snickered.

"Dobe. You are so. Fucking. Screwed."

Heck even her _voice _was orgasmic. Though really, Sasuke's normal low (often threatening tone) was enough to give Naruto a boner anyways.

"Can't wait for it, babe," Naruto murmured huskily, winking at the murderous beauty before leaping away, just managing to dodge the barrage of fireballs that had been aimed accurately in his direction.

"Naruto!" the brunette shrieked, "Get back here _now_!"

And the rest of the village watched in shock, as the number-one hyperactive ninja sped past in a blur of orange, zipping through alleys and lanes – followed by quite possibly the most beautiful kunoichi in the village – a dark-haired and red-eyed beauty whom nobody had ever seen before, clad in the _Uchiha _attire of all things – following the orange hurricane, her mouth spewing unladylike profanities and her fingers crackling with lightning chakra.

Kakashi smirked behind his book when he observed the ruckus – he had figured what had happened.

He hoped that for the blonde's sake, Naruto managed to get whatever the hell he wanted before Sasuke figured out how to change back, and killed him.

/\/\/\

Sasuke was going to _kill _him.

For real this time – he was going to catch him, pin him down, force him to redo and undo the jutsu so Sasuke could copy the undoing part with his Sharingan, change back to a male – and then _kill _him.

Naruto was still racing ahead of him, and Sasuke found himself tiring. And his legs were aching.

Damn stupid female muscles, they made it so hard to keep up! He was tiring faster, and his strides weren't as long – and damnit, he'd never appreciated Sakura before, but he did now.

Being a kunoichi wasn't easy – especially with certain – physical limitations.

That, and his chest hurt because it kept bouncing every time he leapt from roof to roof and it was annoyingly distracting.

_I'm going to kill him._

Naruto, during the chase, had led them back to his own apartment, and blinded by rage, Sasuke followed the blonde inside.

"Chidori!" Sasuke cried, lunging at Naruto, who for some reason was standing there and _grinning _like a retard.

Naruto sidestepped, and Sasuke cursed – he still hadn't adapted to how his new height and weight affected the speed and extent of his lunge.

The blonde managed the grab his wrist, so that the Chidori slammed into a wall, damaging most of it, but missing Naruto completely.

Sasuke growled in frustration as Naruto grabbed his other wrist, and shoved Sasuke none-too-gently into the wall.

Sasuke struggled under his grip, but found that with these new, much smaller (and weaker) female muscles, it wasn't possible to fight Naruto off as easily as it would have been normally.

Naruto was taller, and stronger, and more muscular – and hell, that bastard was probably getting _such _a kick out of this, out of seeing Sasuke so uncharacteristically helpless, the horny, perverted _asshole._

Naruto pressed his body against Sasuke's soft form, and Sasuke's breath caught despite everything – Naruto had effectively trapped him – or her – against the wall, holding the delicate wrists above her head in a fist, leaving her vulnerable and open to Naruto's gaze.

Naruto's blue eyes were dark with lust, a determined, smoldering gaze which made Sasuke's heart flutter despite everything. Naruto's body was hard – and it was weird looking at the blonde from this angle, where Naruto was taller than him.

The look on his face – one of unadulterated lust – would have probably made Sasuke's cock harden in his normal state.

But now, in this female form, that wasn't possible – though Sasuke felt a warm, rushing wet feeling between his head.

_Fuck no, _he realized, _my female body is responding to him… what the fuck! What if he touches me – I can't let this – I can't let him-_

It was too late though. Naruto had the pretty girl trapped right where he wanted her, and Sasuke didn't know how to dispel the sexy form.

Naruto's eyes roved unashamedly over Sasuke's panting form, pausing for a few seconds on the heaving chest – before flicking up to lock with Sasuke's own dark eyes.

"Hey, baby," Naruto murmured huskily, raising a hand and running a single finger down Sasuke's soft cheek.

Sasuke shivered at the touch – at the feel of the rough, calloused skin of Naruto's finger trailing tantalizingly across his sensitive skin – and at the husky, rough sound of Naruto's undeniably masculine voice.

He would have normally hit Naruto for the endearment – and he didn't know whether the jutsu was messing with his brain – but the female Sasuke was reacting positively to the caress and the voice, and Sasuke felt his nipples harden with want, and the rushing wetness in his core intensify.

"Don't fucking call me that," Sasuke managed to bite out, though his voice was higher and more begging than anything.

Naruto smirked at him, the expression on his face obvious conveying that he enjoyed Sasuke's distress.

It was a look, a look which Sasuke usually gave Naruto.

The 'I-know-you-want-me-so-stop-pretending-you-don't' look. Coupled with the 'even-if-you-don't-I'm-stronger-than-you-and-you-know-it-so-give-it-up-because-you're-fucked-anyways' look.

Sasuke shivered with anticipation.

"You're beautiful," Naruto murmured reverently, his curious blue gaze drinking in Sasuke's form, as the lone trailed down Sasuke's cheeks.

Sasuke's heart fluttered, even though he knew that he _wasn't _fucking beautiful because he _wasn't _a fucking female and Naruto shouldn't have _dared _to call him that.

But Naruto was in control now. Because Sasuke was in a woman's form and he couldn't fight back, not yet – Naruto was way too strong, and he was exercising his advantage, the idiot, and Sasuke's female body seemed to want the damn gorgeous blonde so badly.

Naruto's finger brushed over Sasuke's lips, and Sasuke bit at it - out of spite, he convinced himself, not because he wanted to taste Naruto.

Naruto just smirked that maddeningly superior, sexy smirk and continued what he was doing, his finger trailing down Sasuke's slender neck, brushing across a collarbone.

He was only touching him with one finger – _one _fucking finger – and Sasuke found himself unbelievingly turned on and craving more, so much more.

Naruto then raised his other hand, letting go of Sasuke's wrists. Sasuke's arms fell limply at his side, and he knew he should push Naruto away, but couldn't. Not when the blonde was looking at him in that way, almost like a predator. Sasuke had always been drawn to power, and right now, Naruto was exuding such power and confidence, and he was touching him so surely – Sasuke just wanted more of it.

Naruto's hand raked through Sasuke's dark locks, which were longer, much longer, and sleeker, no longer spiky. His fingertips ran over Sasuke's shoulders and bare arms, and Sasuke shivered.

"See," Naruto murmured, leaning in so that his tongue flicked against Sasuke's ear as he spoke, "Told you it wouldn't be so bad…"

He then licked Sasuke's ear, and Sasuke couldn't help but gasp, a surprised, feminine sound.

Naruto smirked.

Sasuke wanted to hit him, but couldn't, because at that moment, Naruto's fingers had found the zip of his top, and Naruto was slowly sliding it down, blue eyes dancing with excitement.

Sasuke flushed with embarrassment – there were no wrappings or bindings under the top, and as Naruto slowly and deliberately zipped it down, the beautiful, creamy white breasts of his sexy form came into view, for the blonde's intense scrutiny.

Naruto pushed off the top, his fingers rubbing against Sasuke's bare shoulders as he did, and Sasuke blushed, harder than he ever had.

It was ridiculous – he was supposed to be a _man, _he didn't _have _breasts, it was just a stupid jutsu – but Naruto's look, which was a mixture of hunger and absolute fascination, made his breasts tingle.

Sasuke knew he'd finally snapped and gone crazy because at that moment he wanted nothing more than for Naruto to touch his – or her - breasts with those tanned, calloused hands.

Naruto didn't though, instead spanning his hands on Sasuke's bare waist, and the sight of the tanned fingers pressing into his own pale skin gave Sasuke another jolt of moist heat to his core.

"Wow, Sasuke," Naruto breathed, his breath warm on Sasuke's lips, as he pulled back slightly, so he could gaze at Sasuke' bare body more.

Naruto's hands moved up Sasuke's flat stomach, his fingers tracing random patterns on the pale skin. Sasuke noted that his female form did have abs, though they weren't quite as pronounced as his usual ones.

Naruto touched him reverently, hands sliding down his back, around his waist, gripping at his hips – but Sasuke was growing impatient. The breasts were aching to be touched.

Finally, Naruto lifted his hands from Sasuke's waist, and brushed his knuckles over Sasuke's taut nipples.

Sasuke gasped, biting his lip.

"So, you liked that?" Naruto asked huskily, smirking as his eyes met Sasuke's.

Sasuke blushed, and to his mortification, whimpered, as Naruto circled a thumb teasingly around his nipple, before touching it again, lightly – so lightly.

"Naruto…" he moaned, his voice far too pleading, but his mind was in such a hormonal daze that he found he didn't care anymore.

"Want me to touch them again, don't you?" Naruto teased, his fingers just brushing the underside of the mounds.

He finally did, his hands cupping both breasts closely, before squeezing softly, and Sasuke arched forward, pressing into Naruto's hands.

"So soft…" Naruto murmured, gazing at them, before his eyes flicked back up to Sasuke, "This is why I wanted this, you know… they're so beautiful… and round… and soft… I could touch them all day…"

Another light squeeze. Sasuke gasped, and it was such a feminine sound, that it encouraged Naruto, and he squeezed again.

"You know," Naruto murmured, kneading Sasuke's breasts in his hands, rolling the nipples between his fingers, "I kind of lied before… I actually have been – with women – before…"

"I – I know," Sasuke bit out, before gasping again, "Hinata – right?"

"Yeah," Naruto breathed, his thumbs brushing across Sasuke's nipples again, "And Sakura-chan this one time, when we were both really drunk… I never had sex with either of them though, you were my first… my only… you always will be…"

Sasuke had already known about Hinata, though he'd been surprised at the Sakura revelation. Sakura surely hadn't told him that, though he supposed it would be hypocritical for him to blame Naruto.

He had himself, had a tryst with Sakura once, though they too, hadn't had sex. Naruto had been his first – and quite frankly, his only love. Sakura had been a distraction, because he thought Naruto had been in love with Hinata at the time. And he did harbor a bit of a soft spot for his pink-haired teammate.

"I didn't know – about Sakura…" Sasuke admitted, though he found himself not caring.

Him and Naruto were exclusively each other's now… and it gave him pleasure that he'd been the first to fuck Naruto…

"Yeah," Naruto murmured, his hands still stroking Sasuke's chest, "It was fun, I guess. Sakura-chan's breasts weren't as big as yours though… or as soft…"

He gave Sasuke a squeeze, and though the comment was terribly perverted, Sasuke found himself – or was it herself – he was giving up on logic now - getting even more turned on, if that was possible. The dirty talk was doing wonders to this body, making the female hormones run wild.

In his hormonal lust, the idea of Naruto touching other girls intimately didn't bother him. He'd known anyways – the blonde was attractive – at that had been when he and Naruto were still too stubborn to realize and admit to what their sexual tension really had been, and had really just been darting alongside one another, their sparring dangerously suggestive but not concretely sexual.

"Hinata's were bigger though," Naruto continued, with another caress, "Nearly spilt out of my hands… yours though… yours are perfect…"

He leaned down, wrapping his lips around a nipple, and Sasuke moaned wantonly, arching forwards as Naruto sucked. His blue eyes were sparkling mischievously, and he gave a suck, before pulling back and licking. The sight of Naruto's pink tongue flicking out to lick at his nipple made Sasuke want to come there and then.

"You taste better than them too," Naruto added cheekily, with a wink, before turning his attention to the other nipple, and ravishing it with his tongue and teeth.

Women had extremely sensitive breasts, Sasuke noted, and the onslaught of Naruto's fingers and tongue was really going to make him explode.

He was positively dripping in his core… he needed Naruto's fingers, in there… now…

/\/\/\

Naruto smirked to himself, kissing the smooth skin of Sasuke's neck, as he felt the dark-haired beauty arch against his palms, breasts pushing in closer.

They were so soft, so supple, so round – Naruto was throbbing in his pants.

And Sasuke was making such delicious little noises – gasps and moans and whimpers – his dark eyes were fixed on Naruto's, and they were like pools of liquid, wide and shining and pleading – and Sasuke was biting his lip – it was the sexiest thing ever, and Naruto admitted that Sasuke made one hell of a girl.

Far sexier than Sakura and Hinata naked – and since Naruto had seen both, he knew he could compare.

Naruto leaned forwards, capturing Sasuke's lips in his, running his tongue along the soft plumpness of his bottom lip. Sasuke made another orgasmic little sound, and Naruto squeezed the breasts in his hand, enjoying the feeling of absolute power and control.

Sasuke would kill him when he regained his senses – but seeing as to how his female body was reacting – Naruto knew that would take quite awhile.

/\/\/\

"Wh-what are you doing?" Sasuke gasped, as Naruto's fingers slipped into the waistband of the white skirt and black tights.

Naruto just winked roguishly, before giving a tug.

Moments later, Sasuke's recently acquired womanhood was bare to Naruto's (and his own, mildly curious) gaze.

Naruto's fingers brushed the inside of Sasuke's soft thighs, and Sasuke had to control himself so that he didn't buck downwards into Naruto's hand.

"Sexy jutsu is really good, huh?" Naruto asked softly, his thumbs tracing a circle around Sasuke's bare hipbone, before his fingers moved downwards, just over Sasuke's sex.

Naruto didn't touch him in there, not yet, the fucking tease – instead, his tanned fingers played with the dark curls, stroking and raking through them.

"You know Sakura-chan is naturally pink-haired," Naruto said conversationally, and Sasuke didn't know why the _hell _the dobe would bring that up _now._

"I _know _that, Naruto, I've seen it," Sasuke growled impatiently, sounding more desperate than angry.

"Why so grumpy?" Naruto teased, eyes twinkling as they met Sasuke's.

He slid his hand up and down the inside of Sasuke's thighs, getting closer and closer to Sasuke's core every time, but not touching it even once.

"You know why – just – just do it – Naruto."

"Do what?" the blonde asked infuriatingly, shooting Sasuke a dazzling smile that made his heart flutter uncontrollably.

"Touch – touch it-"

"Touch what?" Naruto asked innocently, as his fingers traced tantalizing patterns on Sasuke's skin – so close – _so close._

"You know what I'm talking about," Sasuke grunted.

Naruto smirked.

His fingers brushed against Sasuke's outer folds, and he smirked.

"You're dripping wet, Sasuke," Naruto murmured, a burning look in his eyes, "I didn't expect you to be so wet for me… you really want me, don't you?"

The dirty talk was just making him wetter. Naruto obviously realized this, and his smirk grew. Sasuke found it all too sexy. Heck, the stupid female hormones were messing with him. He shouldn't be _enjoying _this – this stupid, smug, teasing Naruto – he should be beating him up!

Naruto finally dipped a finger inside of him, and Sasuke moaned, bucking his hips forward.

"God, you're so fucking wet… I haven't even touched you properly yet… Sakura wasn't _this _wet when I slid my finger into her, you know… I had to actually stimulate her for a few seconds…"

A part of Sasuke's mind noted smugly that Sakura had been pretty much dripping when _he'd _touched her down there – and why the _fuck _was Naruto brining this up? Was he trying to make him jealous? It wasn't making him jealous.

For some god-forsaken reason, the idea of Naruto's fingers inside any girl really – was just making Sasuke hornier.

_It doesn't matter who he's touched… who he's fingered… because his fingers are in me now… he's mine…_

There was something seriously wrong with him if he was thinking like this.

Stupid fucking sexy jutsu.

Naruto slid another finger inside of him, stroking the wet walls. It sent currents of uncontrollable pleasure coursing through Sasuke.

"Hinata was though… she was dripping like you… it took a few strokes and she came all over my hand… guess it's going to be like that with you, Sasuke… you really want me, don't you?"

Naruto was whispering hotly in his ears, as his fingers moved slowly, languorously inside of him.

"You really want me to touch you in there, don't you, Sasuke? You want me to fuck you, right? I bet you're hot and wet and _tight… _and I can't _wait _to fuck you… right after I make you come…"

Another finger entered, and as Naruto's fingers stroked and massaged him, slipping and sliding in and out, Sasuke felt the orgasm building. Sasuke tightened his thighs around Naruto's hand, and Naruto smirked, though he decided it didn't matter, just as long as Naruto kept moving his fingers inside of him.

Sasuke bucked against Naruto's hand again, just as Naruto's fingers brushed against a spot – a secret spot, which Sasuke knew about only because he'd touched Sakura's once, quite some time back, and the girl had screamed with such ecstasy – and Sasuke cried out this time.

And then seconds later he came – long and hard. It was an exhilarating feeling, and the pleasure was insurmountable.

He'd thought coming into Naruto's mouth after a blow-job, or after Naruto had pumped his cock – he'd thought that was pleasure.

But this was so much more intense – and so much _longer_.

"Let's see if I can get you a multiple," Naruto murmured, his lips brushing against Sasuke's ear, and his fingers continued moving.

And then Sasuke felt the orgasm coming again – and he didn't know it was possible – and he thought he would _die _from the intense pleasure of it all…

Girls did have it better…

/\/\/\

Naruto smirked to himself as he felt Sasuke's walls clench and unclench, the muscles trembling around his fingers, as hot liquid gushed out.

Yep, that had been a multiple orgasm – and Naruto knew from experience (okay fine, so maybe once he'd henged a clone to look like Sasuke when he'd been in his sexy form, but he'd grown up with Jiraiya so really, no judgement!) that as a girl, Sasuke was probably experiencing more pleasure than he ever had as a guy.

/\/\/\

"What? Never been finger-fucked before, Sasuke-chan?"

The fact that Sasuke didn't even glare at him was a testament to how well Naruto had carried out his task. The blonde couldn't help his smugness.

"Na-Naruto," Sasuke gasped, clutching at the boy's muscled shoulders, "That was – that was –"

"A multiple orgasm," Naruto smirked, sliding his fingers out of Sasuke.

Sasuke whimpered at the loss of contact.

"Don't worry," Naruto assured him, "My cock will be better, you know…"

Sasuke shuddered, eyes wide.

Naruto _loved _dirty-talking Sasuke. And usually, the normal Sasuke was impervious, or just beat him up for trying. But Orioke no jutsu Sasuke, being a girl, didn't stand a chance. Naruto could tell that Sasuke _loved _and craved the dirty talk, and it just served to make the bastard wetter. Not to mention the little shivers and trembles that Naruto noticed – he loved having this effect on Sasuke.

Heck, female hormones must _love _him!

/\/\/\

Naruto soon had his shirt off, and quite enjoyed the feeling of Sasuke's delicate hands trailing all over his chest, the fingernails scraping quite pleasurably against his skin.

His pants were off as well, and though he had entertained the idea of pushing his pretty little lover to the ground and making Sasuke suck his cock – the idea of those beautiful lips wrapped around his member was so enticing – Naruto figured he wanted to fuck Sasuke thoroughly first.

So he did – entering him in one swift thrust – he figured Sasuke could handle the pain. He'd fucked him from the back before (as a male) and though this was Sasuke's 'first time' in a female form – the bastard seemed to harbor a propensity for pain and probably wouldn't mind it that much.

Sasuke didn't. In fact, that masochistic and power-lustful part of him was quite thrilled that Naruto, was, in fact, dominating.

Sasuke watched, in fascination, as the muscles of Naruto's chest, and abs – the muscles of his biceps – flexed and corded as the blonde thrust, deeper and harder and faster.

And when Naruto came inside him with a moan, Sasuke shuddered and came as well, and for the first (and last) time of his life, thought that maybe, maybe – kunoichi didn't have it that bad.

Sasuke thought they were done, and was about to demand Naruto to show him the reverse jutsu.

But then the blonde came behind him, wrapping strong arms around Sasuke's waist from the back, his tongue hot and wet as it licked at Sasuke's neck and the juncture where his curse seal had once been.

The calloused palms slid upwards, cupping Sasuke's soft chest again, before one hand travelled downwards, Naruto's fingers urging Sasuke's thighs apart, as they began that teasing, deliberate massage – _again _– and Sasuke gave into Naruto, one thought resonating in his dark head as he felt the blonde smirk against his neck.

_I'm going to kill him._

/\/\/\

Naruto in the meanwhile was fully enjoying how _easy _it was to seduce Sasuke in his female form – he gave Sasuke's firm butt a squeeze, laughing softly at Sasuke's sharp intake of breath – before gripping the chin and turning the pretty face to him so he could press his lips against those full, pouting ones.

Naruto carefully slid one finger into Sasuke again – and grinned into the kiss.

Still wet.

/\/\/\

Naruto woke up the next morning, expecting to feel a soft, pliant form in his arms.

He'd fucked Sasuke how many times – five, six – he'd lost count. They'd kept at it till about six in the morning, until they'd finally collapsed. Naruto was sure that he'd missed lunch, and was thankful that Tsunade hadn't assigned them a mission that day.

There was nothing soft or curvaceous anywhere to be found. Rather, there was something heavy – and hard – undeniably hard and firm – straddling his waist.

Naruto cracked his eyes open, meeting the crimson Sharingan of his lover.

Sasuke was a male again. Either he'd figured out how to undo the jutsu, or it had just slipped off when he went to sleep – the sexy jutsu did tend to do that if the user wasn't careful.

Naruto didn't mind that. Though Sasuke as a girl was beautiful and altogether breathtaking – as a guy, he wasn't any less. Naruto let his eyes roam over Sasuke's heard jaw, chiseled abs, broad shoulders and muscled chest – before meeting his eyes again.

Narrowed eyes that were glinting with fury, and a hint of something else.

Sasuke smirked, and it was altogether the most evil, sadistic, _sexy _smirk Naruto had seen on him.

"Hey – Sasuke. You – you're back, huh?"

"Evidently."

His voice was low and male again, not that breathy female voice, but it had chills going down Naruto's spine. He'd nearly forgotten how attracted he was to the real, male Sasuke – the one how could give him a hard-on with just one arrogant, condescending glance in his direction.

"Um – so I guess you – enjoyed yourself last night, right?"

"…"

Naruto gulped. The silence usually meant Sasuke was plotting ways of efficiently killing him.

"I mean you were moaning and gasping and stuff, and you were pretty wet, so I figured-"

"Naruto."

The voice was rigid, laced with anger, and Naruto figured that _hadn't _been the smartest thing to say.

"You were really hot as a girl," Naruto babbled frantically, "Though – you're even hotter as a guy! Really hot – and – um – masculine. Way more so than me – I mean you've got abs and muscles and – um – you're really big down there too - and – um – please don't kill me!" he ended hysterically, before adding, "At least blow me first!"

"_Dobe."_

"Or let me blow you! I'll blow you a hundred times, with swallowing, if you'll just forgive me!"

Sasuke's lips were twitching with amusement, though Naruto, in his frantic pleas didn't quite notice.

"You can fuck me too, as much as you want! I'll even be a girl for you! Or a harem – your choice really! We can do kinky shit with snakes if that'll sort it for you-"

Sasuke snorted.

"For the last time, dobe, I _don't _have snake fetishes-"

"Even a threesome with Sakura-chan, though it would kill me to share you and she'd probably beat me up for suggesting it – if that'll make you forgive me, we can do that!"

"Naruto," Sasuke said, voice deadly cold, "Stop. Talking. Now."

Naruto took a deep breath and shut up, staring up wide-eyed at Sasuke.

"Wh-what are you going to do?" he almost whimpered.

Sasuke smirked, but leaned down, so that his lips were centimeters from Naruto's.

"Avenge myself, Naruto…"

Naruto shivered.

/\/\/\

"Sasuke – you fucking bastard – just – just – please…"

/\/\/\

"Sasuke – I want you – please – harder – please don't – no – harder I said, damnit!"

/\/\/\

"FUCK! You bastard – don't stop – wait – Sasuke – no! I'm almost – I'm going to – Sasuke come back!"

/\/\/\

And then one Uzumaki Naruto learnt why he should never, _ever _mess with a certain Uchiha Sasuke. Sasuke had vengeful tendencies, and he had certainly avenged himself that day.

He left, smirking to himself, ignoring the icy blue (lust-filled) eyes that were (or at least were attempting at) glaring kunai at the back of his head.

He'd left Naruto gasping, panting, begging and pleading, completely and utterly turned on, with his cock ready to explode – and yet completely and utterly unfulfilled.

It took precision and skill (and a well-trained Sharingan that could predict movements) to bring someone right up till the brink of an orgasm – and then to leave them hanging at the last moment.

Naruto had given Sasuke multiple-orgasms.

Sasuke showed his appreciation the next morning by giving Naruto multiple almost-there-but-not-quite-orgasms.

/\/\/\

"Bastard…" Naruto groaned, falling back into the sheets.

He heard Sasuke walk around, and then a few minutes later, the noise of the shower.

"Bastard," Naruto grunted again, staring dismally at his still-erect cock, painfully hard at the idea of Sasuke _wet _and _naked _under that lucky spray of water.

He could try ambushing Sasuke in the shower, but figured that after the stunt he'd pulled last night, it wouldn't work as well as his last few attempts had. He'd probably be burnt and electrocuted at the same time.

"Well, guess it's time for the old trick," Naruto muttered, making a seal.

"Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Three Naruto's emerged, looking at him curiously.

Naruto smirked. He'd never tried with more than one and Sasuke would probably _murder _him once he came out of his shower and saw – but it was probably worth it.

Naruto never learned.

"Sasuke style – henge no jutsu!"

/\/\/\

_Author's Note: (*blushing profusely) Um… yeah… I don't know if you liked it… it's not really very conventional and of many people's taste… but if you did, please review and let me know, that would be nice._

_And um… I don't know, I might do a sequel in the future if I feel like it – with Sasuke x Naruko (i.e., SexynoJutsu!Naruto) but I'm not sure… let's see… _

_Review! __J_

_Flame me if you will, Sasuke knows Amaterasu now. _


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